Diaries

This last diary entry has sat on the backburner of my mind (and on my continually growing to-do list) for quite sometime. With the approach of the Cebu project, I cannot believe it has been over six months since my Schliersee adventure began… since I boarded a plane to head toward what I knew would be a three-month, life changing experience…I just didn’t know how. Nor did I try to fathom how, instead just simply opening myself up to take in the whole beautiful, challenging, unique journey – with each moment building upon the next. As the Schliersee fellows gathered in tiny, quaint Bayrischzell, we developed an instant bond, brought together by the grand ideas of some inspiring people. But I also feel a bond to the fellows I haven’t met – to those of the Istanbul project – as they followed (danced!) on our heels through their own three-month experience – and to those new fellows, the Cebu project. My anticipation for their upcoming adventure grows and I cannot wait to be a little fly on the wall as I see their videos, their photos and read their diary entries. My fellow fellows of Schliersee, the special people we met in Germany, and the D&F staff are on my mind everyday – a small detail within my day-to-day routine makes me think of one of them, or all of them, or a moment, or a feeling from those three-months. I smile as I take note of the memory – whether it is a song on the radio that makes me think of Andres’ singing, or simply hearing an accent of a visitor to the museum where I now work, or just a longing I have to walk down to Room 35 to experience the “heat” of India & Nigeria (whew - how can you keep that radiator up so high?!? :), or up to Kiki and Sulava’s room where the door was always open (although they might not be in there! :). When reading the news, often sad and disturbing, with earthquakes, bombings and kidnappings, etc. I am comforted by these experiences that we had as Schliersee fellows, which the Istanbul fellow shared, and that will connect us to all the future fellows. Everyday I learn another way in which the fellowship has enhanced my time here on this increasingly smaller Earth – I look forward to continuing this discovery. This fellowship isn’t over! Best wishes to the Cebu Fellows!

It has been some two weeks that I came to Nepal after my fellowship was over. On the first day of arrival I was sort of blank as I was not really able to think maybe because of very less sleep in the plane and jet lag too.

It is very funny that all the least developed countries (L.D.Cs) or developing counrties have all the bad things in common.I remember once me, Jack, Timmy, Julius and Denise sharing and talking about the public transportation system in our countries over our dinner at Bella. We were all telling on as how we travel in buses, how the conductor comes to collect money,how crowded is the bus, how we shout or bang the roof in order to stop the bus so that we could get off, what kind of characters do the conductors have (they generally are rough,undisciplined and bully type). I remember Denise saying she calls “Paro” “Paro” to stop the bus whereas we say “Roka” “Roka” to stop the bus. The buses stop wherever they like so that they could collect a passenger even in the busiest street, even in front of the traffic but if we want them to stop then they say it’s illegal to stop anywhere and we must stop at exact bus stations. It was frustrating to take a local bus all the way to a hotel and then to my house. And here I would also like to borrow the same phrase from my fellows and I too believe this is what we call the Charm of the Chaos. This charm of the chaos is universal in poor countries . why???

On the first evening after my arrival at the hotel I did not know that I had acted funny. I went for a short tour of “Thamel” the tourist hub of Kathmandu with a packet of pop corns in my hand. I felt that passers by were staring at me. And I felt that they were staring at me because all of them knew that I had returned from Germany. “Funny” It sounds like a story I read in high school where a poor man gets some money from the bank for the first time and he feels that every one walking on the street knows that he has some money in his pocket. And they all are after his money.

I was and am proud that I had accomplished my fellowship and I was very happy first because I would meet my parents and my relatives, second I could tell them never ending stories about Germany and about my stay and third it was obviously a great matter of pride to receive an international fellowship and to accomplish it. This has been the biggest event in my life till today.

In the beginning after I arrived at home I was feeling awkward. It was little hard to believe that I had left Germany…… At times I felt blank and empty and I also felt that I had lost track in my life. I had missed quite a lot of things since some things had changed and few big things had happened. But now after some two weeks my life is back in the same old track where it is not easy to do anything and now I am no more” Deepakovich” or the” general” or the “dpac” or the Tom of “tom and jerry” or “the hard working mt everest guy” or the “dimag” or “the man with the brain” or “the man goes with the soup”and so on and so forth but now I am “Deepak sir” (once who ever has taught in school always becomes a sir which means a teacher) or “Deepakji” or” Basnetji”. And I am back in my stamina or firm and ready to score a century or “hattrick” like in DEDON’s football ground.

It's been surreal. After the Munich-Dubai-Mumbai flights, I undertook a 30-hour train journey to the southern city of Chennai and then spent 8 hours on a rickety bus to the temple-town of Thanjavur. To say hello to my mum, leave most of my luggage (with all the heavy winter clothing D&F provided us) at her place and eventually move on again.

On the train, there was the usual cast of an Indian second-class bogie: eunuchs prodding for money, beggars tapping, ticketless people squatting at the door and spitting outside, their bags blocking the way to the loo, and all this straight after autobahns and Bayrischzell.

The bus was a little better, although it rattled all the time. It was nice to see green rice-fields again and I kept wondering how the countryside- the buffaloes, the shoddy small shops- would look to some of the people from the project. To Florian, for instance, or Darcy.

My Dreamplan began to seem elitist and unlikely. Whenever I've returned to India before it took only a day for things to feel normal and familiar again. This time it's been different. The tickets of my journey feel like spins of a crystal ball or time-machine.

Deepak had one question throughout the project: why is Germany the way it is, and why is Nepal backward and poor? My response then was that it depended on what you considered wealth and development, that the Western yardstick wasn't necesarily appropriate everywhere, that a country that didn't have highways and automatic doors could still be wealthy in other ways, in its culture, in its music. Now that argument feels academic, and the question feels real.

There was this one moment when that 8-hour rickety bus stopped at a traffic jam. A length of dust began to curl around the seats, lit up by the sun and egged on by the honking. I was fiddling with my wallet, and I began to find business cards. Among them was Oya's card, the most recent one, and it felt incredibly surreal, as tangible evidence of something fantastically impossible. Oya Ogurcu, designer from Istanbul. It still carried, unmistakably, her perfume.

Halo! Guten Tag!

I arrived safly at the Lagos International Airport, where my brother came to pick me! He was super happy to see me. Meanwhile as our plane landed, I had switched on my mobile phone, it began to ring endless, phone calls and text messages, I was happy to hear familiar voices and read welcome messages from friends, I was indeed humbled. I called Fiamma and Gitti to say that I am home safe , happy and missing them in all and how hot it was in Lagos! you need to see everyone removing all warm jackets!

My elder bother had prepared/cooked "Ogbono Soup with Eba(Cassava)" and kept it in the fridge for me..I immediately got it warmed and sat down on the floor(Carpet) in front of the TV and began eat,I ate it all with emotions and love.. with hands of course!!! It was great!!! I didnt even know he can cooked like that:-)

I have been very busy with my preparation for UN climate Change Conference in Copenhagen, and I had to fly the next day to Abuja, the Capital city for my visa interview so now I have applied for Visa, will collect it back on the 3rd and will leave on that date too to Copenhagen via Frankfurt.

In Abuja, I had a Hero's Welcome as well, from known Friends and colleagues to people who have only heard about "Esther Agbarakwe work with youths on climate change and sustainability" I shocked hands with great people from Government to International NGOs and to local groups!

you needed to see my facebook pages! full with Welcome message and Good will Messages, I was supper happy and humbled

the Next day, I had to travel to visit my boyfriend who was waiting to see me, I am with him now, as My country celebrate Eid-el-kabir, a Muslim Holiday and I am thinking about Kiki and Rifky..wishing them a happy holiday too.

It been amazing coming back home but then the hope of going back to Europe next week is even greater! because it an opportunity for me to achieve an aspect of my DREAM PLAN: GREEN EDUCATION FOR YOUTHS in Nigeria!.

I am SUPPER-happy, SUPPER-inspired and SUPER-grateful to D&F, for all the support and Care.

see you soon!!